How do you deal with the helplessness, despair and confusion that come from parenting an addicted son or daughter? I have been an avid meditator now for over 20 years. It is the best stress reliever I have found, and is a very helpful tool for putting many of life’s challenges in perspective. Addiction can steal your peace. Meditation can bring your calmness, clarity and focus back.
Meditation can help you deal with powerful emotions that arise. As a parent, at some point in the journey from your child’s addiction to recovery, you may have to face your worst fear. That fear is that your child may not survive this life threatening condition. At the beginning of this journey, there is much hope. As the journey progresses, little by little, the hope erodes, and the true reality of the power and severity of this illness sets in.
Dealing with addiction may erupt in you the fiercest, most explosive emotions you never knew you had. Even the most naturally loving and caring person can be brought to their knees with feelings of anger, despair, fear, grief, and even hatred. We can lose sight of everything that is still good in our world because we get so lost in the chaos and fear.
In one of my most distraught moments, I went into meditation and heard the below words and wrote them down. They were inspired by my own courageous son but also by a group of mothers called The Addicts Mom. These mothers offer unconditional love and support to each other and endlessly advocate for their addicted sons and daughters.
It is a message to both the condition of addiction and to the mothers (or parents) of addicts.
Meditation has brought me back to center and refocused my thoughts over and over again throughout this journey. It has helped me calm and manage all of the intense emotions that arise. It is the best practice I have found for staying centered in the midst of chaos and for staying in the truth rather than the illusions addiction can create. Meditation brings a deep comfort and centeredness that I get nowhere else.
Addiction can make you believe that your son or daughter is horrible. But they are not. Being addicted can cause people to do and say horrible things. Your beautiful son or daughter still exists. Keep focused on this. Never lose sight of this truth and maybe they will begin to remember again too. Go into meditation. Leave the chaos for a moment and listen to what your own soul wants you to remember.