How do you deal with the helplessness, despair and confusion that come from parenting an addicted son or daughter? I have been an avid meditator now for over 20 years. It is the best stress reliever I have found, and is a very helpful tool for putting many of life’s challenges in perspective. Addiction can steal your peace. Meditation can bring your calmness, clarity and focus back.

Meditation can help you deal with powerful emotions that arise. As a parent, at some point in the journey from your child’s addiction to recovery, you may have to face your worst fear. That fear is that your child may not survive this life threatening condition. At the beginning of this journey, there is much hope. As the journey progresses, little by little, the hope erodes, and the true reality of the power and severity of this illness sets in.

Dealing with addiction may erupt in you the fiercest, most explosive emotions you never knew you had. Even the most naturally loving and caring person can be brought to their knees with feelings of anger, despair, fear, grief, and even hatred. We can lose sight of everything that is still good in our world because we get so lost in the chaos and fear.

In one of my most distraught moments, I went into meditation and heard the below words and wrote them down. They were inspired by my own courageous son but also by a group of mothers called The Addicts Mom. These mothers offer unconditional love and support to each other and endlessly advocate for their addicted sons and daughters.

It is a message to both the condition of addiction and to the mothers (or parents) of addicts.

Meditation has brought me back to center and refocused my thoughts over and over again throughout this journey. It has helped me calm and manage all of the intense emotions that arise. It is the best practice I have found for staying centered in the midst of chaos and for staying in the truth rather than the illusions addiction can create. Meditation brings a deep comfort and centeredness that I get nowhere else.

Addiction can make you believe that your son or daughter is horrible. But they are not. Being addicted can cause people to do and say horrible things. Your beautiful son or daughter still exists. Keep focused on this. Never lose sight of this truth and maybe they will begin to remember again too. Go into meditation. Leave the chaos for a moment and listen to what your own soul wants you to remember.

My Meditation: Message to myself, to other parents and to addiction itself

There is a miracle in front of me now.

I see all of us mothers,
Holding hands so tightly.
We are fierce.
Unstoppable.
Unrelenting.
We do not give up.
We are triumphant.
Even if it “appears” that we lose.

We cannot lose.
And we know this.

We have each other.
We stand in the never- ending abiding love
That gracefully connects us and holds us.

No matter what happens-
We do not shut Love off.
Even if the whole world thinks we should.

We continue to stand as beacons-
Reminding the world
Reminding each other
That we still believe in the goodness of life,
The brilliant beauty of the pure, untouched soul,
And the knowing that no matter what happens,
We will not stop loving!
And that this does matter!

We who stand here have made a choice.
We face the darkness,
But we will not back down.
We stand in the firmness and certainty of our being.

We know who we are.
We know who our children are.
They are not monsters.
They are children of God.
So you cannot make us stop seeing,
That in spite of this ugly addiction,
That they courageously battle,
Their core remains exquisite.

We will not be influenced by what we think we see.
For underneath the chaos, the pain and the disease,
The souls of our children remain upright,
And so do ours!

Come at us and we unite!
You will not break us down.

We still believe.
You have not shaken our concrete knowing,
That within each of us,
Is a constantly flowing, bright and unfaltering Source of Love,
That perceives clearly,
And that knows,
That no matter what you take from us,
This unalterable fact shall not be changed…
We stand in the Light, as the Light,
AND SO DO OUR CHILDREN!

You cannot alter who we are.
You can only make us stronger,
More committed and ever more clear on what lies within us!

Who are we?

We are the warriors who are not confused as to which side we are on.
Even in the midst of unbearable heartache,
We remain steadfast in our truth,
And that is….
Our love, our faith and our knowing,
Cannot be shut off,
That from the beginning to the end,
Our collective Spirit of Love,
For our children and each other,
Will pour forth in spite of you.

Our souls and our children’s souls
Are safe, cared for, loved and indestructible.

Even if you take a body,
You will never overthrow not even one of their beautiful souls!
We are forever victorious.

This is what we stand for.
This is what we know.

We are undefeatable.
We are not deceived.
We are ferocious.
We are UNRELENTING, UNSHAKABLE LOVE!
WE are addicts’ moms.